Oldest son and I were chatting about stuff early this morning. I was going to the store and he told me that he and brother were out of soap. I said, “What kind do you want? Just because we use Ivory doesn’t mean you have to.” He said, “Nah, It’s good…Ivory’s a solid chunk of soap.” Well, if that isn’t an advertising slogan, what is?? So, we got to thinking about what commercials and ads would be like if they were geared to men. Some of you saw the Innocent Escapes with the Brawny Man; how it was geared toward the female shopper...and cute as it was, we're supposed to buy paper towels cuz of Brawny Man??....So, guys, don't get mad...but we think you should get your fair share of attention and manipulation from corporate America, so here’s what we came up with (maybe it's only funny at 6 in the morning! :-O And, remember...a GUY came up with most of these!):
Script for commercial for Brawny Paper Towels….
Camera pans in on a bunch of guys watching football and drinking beer in a living room. One guy sniffs and looks over the back of the sofa and says, “Dang it, Bart….looks like Vern just puked over here. You ain’t gonna be able to hide this one from Mary.” Bart replies, “No prob, Hank. Just got these Brawny Paper Towels. Even the guy on the picture looks like me! One swipe, we’re done!” (gagging, cleans it up) Dramatic music with overlay of writing:
Brawny Paper Towels: Gets puke in one swipe
.....more slogans geared specifically for the guy shopper (feel free to add to the list!):
Ivory: It’s one solid chunk of soap
Mac N Cheese: Not just for Sunday dinner anymore
Franzia Wine in a Box: Fits snug by yer six-packs
Huggies: Holds more than other diapers
Heineken Beer: Too good for chuggin’ !
Rice Chex: It’s really crunchy!
Ball Park Franks: Now in convenient single serve 8 pack
Pace Picante Sauce: It’s really spicy…if you’re a wimp!
Dove Chocolate: Goes good with beer