Pats on the back...

Isn't it nice to get a pat on the back once in a while? I got one at school on Friday and it meant a lot. Getting hugs from kids means even more, though. There is one little girl in particular who always runs to give me a hug. I'm telling ya, a job you love is worth millions.

I'm sure God gives us pats on the back. I wonder if we see them or feel them? Maybe it's in those moments when we get a burst of energy to push past whatever stuff we're dealing with. Is it a pat, or a shove? ;-) Either way, I'm sure He knows what we need.

I'm pushing past a lot of stuff lately, but I'm learning that everything happens in God's time, not mine. This job reminds me of that. I kept dragging my feet, not applying, and people kept asking me why I didn't apply. I would say that the low $ was holding me back, but it wasn't just that. The principal at the time was just not a nice man. Very vindictive and destructive. Now, we have a principal and vice-principal that are amazingly upbeat and supportive. To have these wonderful women give me a hug, tell me they love me and my work...well, that's so nice.
He definitely set me on a good path. I wonder where else it will lead? I hope your path is easy, and your burdens light!

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:6

The Stick Man

As we drive in and out of our neighborhood, we often see Bill, an older fellow, out and about. The road we travel out of has no homes facing either side; just fences and a grassy area to the street.

Bill is probably not as old as he looks. He's pleasant enough, very cordial and mannerly. He is a gentleman. He is quite slender and white haired. He mostly wears dark slacks and a white tee-shirt. He moves from one end of his side of the street to around the middle. He labors in the cold or the heat. I've seen him in 100 degree weather. I've asked if we can help. He politely declines and thanks me.

He picks up and moves sticks and branches from one part of the street to another.

I'm fascinated by this activity; as I said, I've offered help, but this appears to be Bill's thing to do. Is he well? Is he delusional?

The work he is doing is not really improving or altering the appearance of the grassy knolls. He makes a pile one day, then collects them up to another pile another day. I suspect that there is a mental thing going on, but, I also suspect that Bill is also acting on basic human nature.

We need purpose.

In his eyes and mind, he is collecting the chaotic and cleaning up the area.

I can identify with this. Can you? I must feel useful in order to feel good about myself. Now, whether this is the Father's complete plan for us is another matter. He certainly wants us to rest, to play, to ponder, to drink coffee--er, scratch that last one! He knows we require balance in our lives...something that I struggle with constantly. I feel guilty if I'm not active.

So, Bill may be pursuing purpose here, while he's still here. He's not always there, so I assume he has balance in some manner of his existence--he must rest. Maybe his purpose isn't just moving sticks. Maybe, just maybe, he is also reminding us to put the sticks down once in a while.


Happy New Year! Praying for a blessed 2011 for you and yours!

Progress

Progress with one of our spec ed kiddos, the non-verbal. He has some violent tendencies, but he loves music. I brought my guitar a Friday ago and I played one song. He signed, "More, please."
!!!
Awesome! I almost cried.
One of the first things I've taught him is emotions on the CHATT board. When he can tell us he is angry, sad, etc., he is less likely to lash out. I guess that's true of us all, hmm?
I'm struggling with the certification thing. I'm so tired when I come home. I do more than expected, and take work home. If I'm teaching, I'll have even more coming home. With CMS and Lupus, I just don't know if I can do it. A bit frustrating. I usually end up taking a nap when I get home and don't get much else accomplished.
Got to let Him lead the way. It's hard. I keep getting in His way.
This year is flying by. I find that I am letting little distractions get in the way of my visits with our Father. That makes me more stressed and scattered. I have a new friend, a bipolar fellow, who is pressing into God and that has helped me to get more grounded. We always have to be brought back, don't we? We let past and future mess with our present.

Exodus 4:2
The Lord askes Moses, "What is in your hand?"

We are led out of bondage, right?
The shepherd's staff is in our hand. No regrets about the past, no fear about the future. Stay in the present with His plans for us.
Gotta remember that.

6 months....

...since I posted something here. Unbelievable. I have felt the void. As I've said, FB is fast and voyeuristic.
I've been doing pretty well. How about you?
I got the job at the school, which I love. It's kicking my butt, though, I must admit. Very physical, but I think that's better for me than sitting around all day.
My last bloodwork indicates I'm in a fibro/myofascial flare-up, not a lupus flare. That is good. However, I'm exhausted. I think season changes mess with all of us.

My husband was recently diagnosed with diabetes, so he is finally taking his diet and exercise seriously. He's lost 40 pounds and can feel the difference. Our diets are completely incompatible! He can eat protein, I stay clear of animal protein. I'm supposed to eat the grains, etc., he isn't. Planning a meal is a challenge.

My job is very rewarding. I can't decide whether or not to pursue a certificate to teach special ed. I'm so tired at the end of the day, I can't imagine being followed home with lesson plans and paperwork. In this economy, though, the extra dough wouldn't hurt! The kids are amazing. They told me it would be a quiet year, but instead we got our biggest child challenge ever. A teacher and 2 paras (me and another woman) are the team that works with this child. He is non-verbal, very big for his age, and can be violent. The team works VERY well together. We adore each other and we adore this child now, too. He has made great strides and we get a kick out of what he does each day. Although they said he was low-functioning, he is very clever and we are working with him with sign language and a communication board. He is even using a touch screen on a computer...playing games! What a rewarding job!

Well, that's about it for me...I'll check on your blogs and see what's up...that you haven't shared on FB. What a phenomenon. I need to get back to the spiritual aspect of blogging, though. There's something to be said for a little anonimity, too. Bless ya.

I must be crazy

I put thought and prayer into it and applied for the job at the elementary school that I subbed for! I have to be out of my mind.
However, I really enjoyed the team and the kids; it will work out car-wise for my youngest and I between his school and my work. If I continue to sub, we'll need to get him a car--one more car in the drive and street will not make me happy. Oldest will be busy with internship and school.
The money's not great, but the hours and only working about 180 days out of the year, having a few weeks off for holidays, well that all sounds ducky to me. I actually got a lot of MY art done when I was doing the sub job, so it helps justify and fund my own art. I can always do jobs in the evening and weekends. I'm also looking into a website and installable, shippable murals. The school is also less than 3 miles away. Gasoline-wise, great deal.
We'll see if they hire me. If not, it'll be another car in the drive. . .
Now, if I can just get this freakin' foot healed. I go to the doc on Friday and am seriously considering the shot in the foot.

The child. . . .

I told him to be quiet.
He was.
I told him to get books to read silently.
He did.
I told him not to speak to me in a disrespectful manner.
He apologized.
5 days at Level 3. Unheard of.

I think I'm in an alternate universe.
Will it last? I don't know.
Summer's coming and all of his teachers' hard work may be for nothing. Completely undone by the chaos of home for the summer.
Please pray for this kid.

The Lord's reminders. . .

I was feeling a little off this morning. I spent a good deal of time with family members that I haven't seen for a bit...some of them live in the area, but we just don't make it priority to get together. Cousins, they are.

Are all families dysfunctional? LOL.

Anyway, for reasons unspoken here, I was feeling off. I decided to write a thank you to my cousin's wife for having us all over. I made a card with my "Paths of Joy" (my copyright) and remembered back to when I made this image. It was as if there were roadways to the heavens and we just needed to follow those ways. The name "Paths of Joy" was given to me, and I went with it. I started thinking that my prophetic or spiritual artwork might be just so much hooey. Today, I searched scripture to see if this title really was something from the Lord, and lo and behold, Acts 2:28 and Psalm 16:11 popped up in front of me.
You have made known to me the paths of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence.
Acts 2:28
I get diverted everyday from my artwork for Him. Every day I find a distraction, a mission, a something--and while a lot of what I do is great ministry--even the school work, I am reminded today to get back to my painting. I don't know where it will go. I guess maybe I'm afraid it will go nowhere. But, I must do it. He has reminded me today! Even the verse and artwork that I thought was my own work speaks to me:
He has made known to me the paths of life. He fills me with joy in His presence.
Why do I stray so often?

Well, I guess I'm journaling about my fun times at the elementary school.

I went in and they said "the child" was having a great day. I know that can turn on a dime, though. I had a feeling he was going to be trouble, and normally I would have prayed that off, but it happened so quickly. The teacher was in and out of the class talking with OTHER kids who were in trouble, and directed everyone to open their science books and discuss with others how heat is transferred. The child, "C" was looking at everything else. I told him to get his book out and he said no. I said, "First warning. Get your book out." He gets up and starts slamming his desk around and throwing stuff around. I'm fascinated, frankly, and tell him to stop-2nd warning for not complying with getting the book...he won't stop or comply, so I tell him to leave the room and take a walk. The teacher wants me to take his book, try to work on the assignment (ha) and maybe he could see the video at 2pm.

I follow him and we chat a bit. I ask him why he got angry over doing school work and that I had to mark him as one warning for disrespect of school property because he tossed his desk around. He gets mad and kicks a door. I tell him that's the second warning for disregard of property. (He gets 2 warnings for each part of behavior) I've already put in a call to the SpEd teacher. He grabs the clipboard pen-on-a-string and pulls it...just about pulling the clipboard with it, but I hold the clipboard because I'm afraid he'll get smacked in the face. Should have let him. He jumps over to me and grabs the clipboard and twists around with it in front of me. My finger is in the metal part. The SpEd teacher comes around seeing this scene and her first words are: "Honeeey, what's wrong?" He sticks out his lower lip and starts pouting. The teacher asks me about what happened. . .she says, "Did he 'tap' the door, or actually kick it?" My head is screaming, "It doesn't matter. He was disrespectful to school and me, and that is that." But, I tell her, "He kicked it." Which he did. So, she tells me, as he is turning lights off and on and sputtering obnoxiously, to go get someone in SpEd who is CPI trained (Crisis Prevention Intervention). No phones? So, I go. What do you think about this?

I found this online. I would have failed miserably on this because I don't remember any songs from "South Pacific."

Snow is streaming from the sky as a short yellow school bus pulls up to a red brick building that is well on the plus side of fifty years old. A young girl, approximately ten years old, exits the bus through an open window and runs down the pathway to the building. She hurls herself into the school and within a few feet finds her classroom. The ceiling of the class is gnarled with enormous steam pipes, anywhere from two to twelve inches in diameter. The pipes are already at work, grunting and hissing their way to heating the class. The girl grabs a pair of scissors and opens them at her throat. "I’ll kill myself now if you don’t sing a song from ‘South Pacific’." The kid’s eyes are wild and her greasy hair is matted to her forehead. I begin to hum a few bars of ‘Happy Talk’ as I calmly take the scissors from her hands. She quiets down almost immediately. I help her take off her thin coat and note that her feet do not have socks on them. Class has started on a Monday morning in an upstate New York public school.~~~Antoinette Magaletta McClure, teacher of emotionally disturbed kids and author of Pipe Dreams.

Thoughts?

Tree, school, exhaustion...

I have little time to scoot around the blogs lately, much less post, so thought I'd add my inane little excuse here.
I'm subbing full time till the end of the year as a special ed aide at an elementary school that is primarily Hispanic. It didn't used to be, but it is now...it's the school my oldest stayed for about 3 years. . .many of the same teachers there. I kinda got roped into it---my ego played a part, too. They absolutely love me there, and how can ya not wanna hang somewheres they like you? The money is pitiful, really, because aides, who run around a school all day and deal with emotionally or mentally challenged kids are not worth much--apparently.
I'm speaking more Spanish now, and the children have stopped giggling at my pronunciation.
I seem to have a repoire with emotionally disturbed people. I'm not sure that's a good thing.
I'm exhausted and have no time for anything else. How do you full timers do it? I forgot how.
I'm catching every virus known to man.
I actually got a kick out of a fist-fight taking place near the cafeteria stage laden with cakes. I must admit, the anticipation was exhilarating! (No, no cake "stomping.")
I'm learning not to roll my eyes when I hear someone leading children in songs like:
I like me
I like me
I am special and
I like myself.
As if Kindergarteners need self-esteem boosts. They all seem fine to me in that arena.
So, between trees and school, and trying to keep my little business going....I'm pooped. I also feel like I haven't gotten enough God time. :-(

Out of the mouths of babes....

I subbed for an English teacher Thursday and Friday last week. Don't you think it's funny that we're the only country in the world that makes us take classes in our own language? And, we are requiring that Hispanics coming into our country take Spanish? And, that our command of our own language is so poor?? And, no, this post will not be grammatically perfect.


But, I digress.


These were middle-schoolers in my charge. By Friday, I had fallen in love with all of them, even the ones named by the teacher that were supposed to cause me many problems. They were so funny. Some scenarios:


One lad looks at me funny. He says, "You look like Jamie Leigh Curtis." I reply, "Well, I suppose I've been told that." Under my breath I mutter, "Yeah, maybe if she gained 100 pounds." Another lad shouts, "JAMIE LEIGH CURTIS GAINED 100 POUNDS?!?"


It's reading and book review time. One young fellow is looking at the book shelf. For a really, REALLY, long time. I finally go over and ask him, "What are you looking for? May I help?" He says, "I can't find the book I was reading to do my review." "What was the book?" I asked. "Call of the Wild," he responds. "Well, go sit down and try to do as much as you can, and I'll hunt around for it." He sits and I KNOW that book is there. I hated it back in the old days and I hate it now, and every Language Arts class has more than a fair supply of the heart-breaking novel. And, there it is. Sitting right there. I take it over to him. "That's not it," he says. "Yes, it is. It's Call of the Wild by Jack London." I reply. "No, it's not. That book has 345 pages. Mine had 295," he says authoritatively, "so this can't be the book." ?!? Oy.



The teacher, ever so kind, left a boat-load of work for the kids to do in the last 2 days before Thanksgiving break, and you know they were just itching to do it all. She left a worksheet for the Gifted and Talented class. It was about complex and compound sentences. She left instructions for them to do some extra sentence analyzing besides just identifying which sentences are complex and which are compound. The kids look at the worksheet, and by the looks on their faces I contemplate calling 911 for mass resuscitation. "We DON'T know what this means!" The wails begin. And, as they were proper little G&T's, I knew they could see their entire future collapse before their very eyes. They would be destitute forever, living in a cardboard box, eating cold and stale McDonald's french fries from the McDumpster. Whoa was them. Panic ensued. I rang the little apple bell on the teacher's desk to quiet them down. They looked at me, silent and shocked. "Your teacher doesn't ring this little bell to get your attention?" I ask.
"No, she just screams."

SOOOO I explain, 3 or 4 times, the difference between a compound and a complex sentence. They work on the worksheets, muttering and whining, and beg to take them home overnight to study more. They bring them back the next day and the next assignment is horrific. Write 10 COMPLEX sentences about Will or Jim in Something Wicked This Way Comes. The blood drains from their faces. We go over it ONE MORE TIME. They start writing. They've got it! They are EVEN splitting the independent clause and putting the dependent clause in the middle! One kid, at a table of three students, raises his hand. I go over and he wants me to read his sentence. It's a correlative sentence. I start to tell him that it's a great sentence but "actually it is a correla..." and before I can finish, they all have their fingers in their ears saying "la la la la la la." LOL. Never mind. I show him how to change it up to keep it complex.

I had the best time with those kids.

my muse is on vacation...

I recently finished two art jobs...
posting a couple of pics here. One is a backdrop in a retail spot for a company that does iron work. It's supposed to be big sheets of "falling" paper. The idea was to put up warm colors that enhance the iron work. Lots of what they do is functional iron furniture.


The other pictures are a trade show set for the same company, this set gets carted around the company. Lots of their furniture is "fantasy" oriented..very arty and organic, so the set is to compliment that idea. Two very different settings. I think I got burned out on these, creatively. I designed and completed them in 2 months. They look blank, but imagine tons of iron stuff in there.

Now, I'm sitting here, for the last week, my muse is cowering in a corner, and I'm trying to write 3 brochures for 3 companies that have the DRIEST products. The words are not coming....