Friday, March 31, 2006

Lil' Baby Bean

I'm going to be a Nana. At so young an age, too! ;-) My "adopted" child, R, is having a baby with his girlfriend, B. (Guess I should have shown him the Matrix Ping Pong with the free condom ad...)I admire them for hanging in there and moving forward through this; but I'm sad because they have sealed one direction for themselves, and they are young. R will now use this as an excuse to not continue schooling. But...when I look at this lil' baby bean.... awwwww shucks...... thank God they will have lots of support, especially from this Nana.....

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Ramblin' again....

Okay, with all the stuff going on, I've apparently gone off the deep end. I just sat for 15 minutes trying to discover the identity of the new Brawny Man (it's a secret). Patchouli had posted a website that is an absolute hoot.
Innocent Escapes
I am pathetic.
I last few blogs have been less than, well, shall we just say....intellectual?
Perhaps it's because....
um, because.....
Oh, heck. It's just because, all right?? I'm in a state of flux. My art work is changing, my thought process is changing. Life is kind of a bundle of poop right now, and dang it, I'm looking for some
Here's another one. The guys will appreciate this one:

Matrix Pong
I apologize in advance for the free condom ad above the actual ping pong.

Anyway...I'm still waiting and biting my lip to get bills for last costs for Sidney's funeral; and then my disabled brother injured himself and I had to stay at his place and tend him for a bit. I slept on the floor, and if anyone wants to know how old they are in physical terms, well, just sleep on the floor. I figured I was around, oh, 30. Turns out I'm 96. Go figure.

Anyway, I know you're feeling sorry for my bro. He's okay. He has Cerebellar Atrophy. His motor functions are not good, he walks with difficulty, and has a whole range of problems. Heck, I feel very sorry for him. He worked as a data base administrator for many years, amassed a sum of money for his retirement and got laid off about 2-3 years ago. So, between his small fortune and SS, he is well set financially. Still doesn't make up for the sucky physical stuff, though. I'd have even more sympathy for him if he would just be a LITTLE NICER to me.....

I have been thinking about things of a physical and metaphysical nature. Does that count as intellectual? There's a blog where these 2 fellows who have fallen out of love with "religion" make their cases, and I got caught up with one of them in a discussion about whether the conscious mind dies with the physical brain. I soon discovered that they win arguments by wearing people out. Anyway, my stance is: although there have been many experiments concerning conscious thought, memories, NDE's and OBE's; there is no proof either way that the conscious mind exists or DOESN'T exist beyond the death of the brain. This one fellow is darn sure that science has proven POSITIVELY that the conscious mind (or what he says we "religious people who believe in the Jesus myth" all call the spirit or soul) dies with the brain. Death. Poof. Over. The end. Nada. Nil. Gone. Kaput.

Well, my educational background started in science, and I LOVE to see things proven, but this one just hasn't been proven. Can you see the world if it had been? Okay...say that science has proven there is no soul/spirit. Churches/temples/mosques close down. People get depressed. Film at 11. There is nothing beyond this life. Folks either start living LARGE or just give up. Wouldn't that be interesting? What about if they proved that there IS a soul? Hmmm. What would that scenario be like? Help me out here......

Either way...we don't know. There's probably a reason for that. Science keeps trying to get down to the quarkiness of the brain and all of its functions, and it just hasn't gotten there yet. We, as Christians, are pretty darn faithful in our belief that there IS something out there, something beyond. I've had OBE's before, I have friends that have had them as well. We can't prove these things, of course, but they do give us pause...and a faith in things beyond what we can fathom right now. Phillip Yancy, in his book "Rumors" quotes, I think, Tolstoy:
"Materialists mistake the limits of life for life itself."

That is such a statement. My kids went to a school where it was darn near illegal to mention God, but the teachers in the science and humanities dept. could spew such New Age stuff like: "all truth is relative."
Well, in my world....Truth is truth and unless it's proven to be TRUTH, it's not truth. It's an opinion, a supposition, a theory, or belief.
Let's listen to some murderer or molester tell us that it's his/her "truth" that it's okay to commit such crimes. Their "truth" is relative, right?
I thought these "teachers" might be very open minded at first, but when I realized that the only thing that they believe in is that which is right before their eyes; that which they can touch, see, hear, etc., I realized that they are stuck in this particular time period in history. Perhaps we can't PROVE some things, but it doesn't mean they might not exist. Years ago, atoms, molecules, cells, and a host of other things were not even concepts; yet here they are. What was not even imagined is now real. How much more is out there?

Anyway, could I ramble even more? Maybe I should change the name of my blog to Rambling Rose or something. Oops. Too late. Taken.

If you're interested in any websites about experiments of this conscious nature stuff, email me, or just google away.
I personally have the faith that we exist beyond, because of my faith in Jesus, His story, and His promise. Next time, maybe I'll tell ya why.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

It's not tubing from a still!...

That Joe is a dryly funny guy! :-) The copper tubing COULD be used in a still....but my friend Patchouli (my beloved God-given sista) uses copper tubing to make these awesome Christmas trees. Maybe she'll post a picture of hers again, on her blog. She is some creative chick! :-) It went so well in my kitchen that we just keep it there. We have several spots in our home with lights like this, on tables, on baskets of sticks, on doors...we call them "happy lights" and we turn them on often, especially when people are gathered in our home. :-)

Monday, March 27, 2006

I thought it would be fun to post another "room" picture. You've already seen my little "retreat." Don't you wonder sometimes where all your blogpals hang out and what their digs look like? Here's part of my kitchen. I wish you all could come over and sit at the table for a cuppa with me! I'm challenging myself to keep the crap off of the table, and to throw/recycle a bag of stuff out every day. Join me?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Tough week. Sid's service is over. We had thought that he had taken care of everything, but he didn't, and my BIL was supposed to be the executor of the "estate." He's the oldest in the family, and SIL and he live close to my mother-in-law. Long story, everyone is back to being buttheads again, and hubby and I got socked for the majority of costs because Sid was "his" dad. See former post......So, we're facing a bit of debt.
I was rifling through some stuff (cleaning again, out of frustration!) and saw a paper inbetween the TV and the wall and pulled it out. This is what it said, in paraphrase:

Memo from God
Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes you need to make in your life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill my promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. I know, I already gave you the 10 Commandments. Keep them, but follow these guidelines as well:
1.Quit worrying. Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?
2.Put it on the list. If something needs to be done or take care of, put it on the list. No, not YOUR list, put it on MY list. I can't help you until you turn it over to me. I can take care of everything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.
3. Trust me. Once you've given you burdens to me, quit trying to take them back.
4. Leave it alone. Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Just let me do my job.
5. Talk to me. I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy, forget the worry and fretting. But don't ever forget to talk to me! I love you, I want to hear your voice.
6. Have faith. Share. Be patient. Be kind. Love yourself.
With all My heart. I love you.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Carving niches.....

I was feeling a tad overwhelmed this afternoon. Lots to do and think about. So, in sheer ADD-ness I cleaned out a bunch of stuff, and moved my laptop to an antique desk in our little sunroom. I've been meaning to do this for about 4 months now. Now I've got my own little space that's usable. 'Bout time, 'eh? Whatcha think? I designed the hanging stained glass when I was 14. I took a class taught by 2 brothers (had a mad crush on one of 'em!) This cleaning stuff out when you're feeling undone is good therapy!

It's very peaceful out here! The weather today was glorious! 75 and beautiful clouds. Now, it's dark and getting down in the low 40's. Yesterday, it poured rain and flooded while we were in the throws of dealing with some arrangements for Sid. Typical Texas....

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sidney made it to the finish line....

...with his Father's help. Father-in-law, Sid, peacefully ran the end of the race this morning at 9:30. The family has rallied 'round beautifully. Thank you all so much for prayers and support!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The finish line....

Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:3

I meditated on that scripture because I had asked God to give me something to bolster a friend of mine that is having a very trying time. Plopped open the ol' Book and there it was. It was very fitting indeed: I asked my friend how he was. He said, "Tired." Now, I know that he will not lose heart or faith that God will see him through. But, everyone can use a little encouragement sometimes.This verse is for all of us.
The vision that came to my mind when I was talking to him was of some famous runner...and I can't remember who it was, and I'm probably telling it all wrong, but he was running a very important race. Somehow, he blew a hamstring or a tendon or something and should have quit running, but he didn't. He had his eye on the finish line whether he was first or not. The whole crowd turned from watching the winner to watching this one runner. They started cheering him on. Suddenly, his dad, who was in the crowd, couldn't bear to see his son in pain any longer and ran out onto the track. He grabbed his son and held him up, supporting him and seeing him all the way to the finish. I'm sure the crowd, of course, went nuts.
That's our Father, the One who runs out to us and will hold us up all the way to the finish. We may endure suffering and pain, but He is there. As observers in the lives of others, we should remember to be there to cheer each other on through pain and hardship.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sunday morning "church"...................

Simon says...

For cool drink of water, check out Simon's post at: It's notable that he wrote it seven or more years ago...very prophetic.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Do Overs.....

This post is really directed at me…but if you see anything you can identify with, go for it. And, it will be rambly, per usual. But try to hang with me……

My friend, Connie, called me yesterday. I told her that I was feeling very…..confused. Scattered. Overwhelmed. I’ve let so much stuff go by since going through this fatigue with anemia, that now that I’m feeling more energy, the list of stuff to do just looks crazy. She prayed with me, for the spirit of confusion, self-condemnation, etc., to be lifted. That really helped.

Personal responsibility. Yes, we can pray that demon influence off of us, but we let it in, in the first place. I’ve been just wasting time wandering around thinking, “what to do, what to do.” It’s time to just do it.

I’m overwhelmed with family members. My FIL is doing better, but he wasn’t much into taking good care of himself in the first place (he had stopped taking his BP meds). My husband’s sisters are his half-sisters, he is the youngest. Suddenly, my FIL, the man that gave up a basketball scholarship for them, raised them, loved them, clothed them, etc., has become not “daddy,” but Sid. They have told my husband that he is “your dad.” Nice.

Now, our niece and nephew have shipped my husband’s crazy sister (their mother) up to our neck of the woods to stay with my MIL. They conveniently packed up all of her stuff so that we all could deal with her. I am also the caregiver of my disabled brother who lives half a mile from us. My dad is currently taking care of my stepmom, who has a progressive ataxia.

This is not a pity trip…don’t get me wrong. But this stuff could easily drive me into the depths, adding to that my own health problems and fears. One kid in college, and another homeschooling, and both of us working to pay bills, etc. It’s just a lot.

But…we’re not in Iraq. We don’t have anything terminal (I hope!). We’re all here, the bills are paid. We have the best kids in the world. A roof over our heads, food in the pantry. Laughter (my favorite!)

I feel sorry for other members of my outer family. They run from conflict, from responsibility. If they do something, they have to play the martyr. Crap happens, we all have it. Each and everyone of you who is reading this (if you’ve gotten this far) have stuff going on that seems overwhelming.

So, back to the “not letting that demon of confusion and self-condemnation” in. We have the choice to open that door or not. So, if I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’ve got to do one thing at a time to deal.
Tell that spirit to take a hike.
Read scripture.
Clean one pile of clutter out.
Email a friend.
Call a friend.
Sweep something out.
Empty a box.
Clean the kitchen.
Walk the dog.

Anything. We’re ALIVE! Isn’t that great? And we believe that there will be something special for us after we’re gone. Isn’t that great? So, I’m looking around…spring is coming. All the crap that I haven’t gotten done doesn’t really matter, does it? Does it? The earth is still turning, the sun is still coming up. It doesn’t matter. With Spring comes resurrection, new life, new hope. This is God’s hint to us that we get second, and third chances. It’s His way of saying to us….it’s okay! Try again.
The Almighty “Do Over.”

Friday, March 10, 2006


Thank you all, again...My FIL is doing better today. They're actually talking rehab soon!
Karen, surprised by Grace.....

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thank you....

Thank you all for prayers! They are most appreciated.
Sid had a high bp stroke; he is responsive today, and his bp has come down with medication, so they think the bleeder may have stopped. If he continues to improve, he will be moved to a room, then a rehab facility. It can go either way. It's in God's hands.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Prayer needed...

Coveting prayer for my father in law, Sidney, and MIL, Dena. Sid's in the ICU with a stroke; has a "bleeder." It's very serious.....and difficult to get information. They won't tell us anything over the phone, the ICU visiting hours are limited...the doctor was horrible. It's like, if you're a certain age, they really don't want to bother with you. We're about 30+ miles away, and trying to juggle everything. My husband's sister and brother-in-law are close by the hospital, but aren't helping much. Thanks!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

10:40 P.M.

My friend, "C" at has spanked us all pretty good with his post "Seeing Christ in a Christian."

C makes some good points and observations; in the midst of personal pain that he deals with, he still takes time to notice that the majority of us are not doing what we're supposed to do in our walk as Christians. When you think about how we fail each and every day, the overall appearance of Christians is pretty dismal.

I asked our Father to help me out here. On the one hand, I want to ease C's pain; all I can do is pray, but that is also the most I can do. But I asked God to give me SOMETHING.....and He led me to the book of James...the NT's little user's manual of Christianity. Interestingly, Martin Luther got ticked off at this book and tried to stick it in the appendix of the Bible as he was having it published. He didn't like the differing takes between Paul's "saved by grace alone" and James' "faith without works is dead." We could go all day in a discussion about this....but James is right as he was trying to put a stop to the "freeloaders" who believed in Jesus but went on sinnin' on purpose... And Paul was right...he was pointing out the problem with focusing on the Law as a stepford Christian instead of on God.

What's the point of being a Christian if our attitude is self-serving and without honor in our walk? Can we keep on purposefully sinning and blundering, figuring that a trip to the big house on Sunday washes us all clean, and we can start all over again on Monday? I don't think that's the point, and Jesus tells us that we have to walk the walk.

With right faith naturally comes good works. I do truly feel that we are all desperately trying to live this out. I don't think that we are consciously trying to fail....
Anyway, the scripture that was given to me was James 3:13-17
13Who is wise and knowledgeable among you? Let them show by their fine behavior that their actions are done gently, with wisdom. 14 Now if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast against and lie against the truth. 15 This type of "wisdom" doesn't come down from above, but is earthly, of the natural realm, and demon-like. 16 For where you have jealousy and selfish ambition, there you have a state of disorder and all worthless matters. 17 But the wisdom which comes from above is primarily holy, then peaceful, considerate, reasonable, full of mercy, unprejudiced, and without pretense. (The Source)

I don't know about you, but that is a very humbling bunch of words, and I can feel a blush come to my cheeks when I read it....and when I think of how I've failed those words many times. How could I possibly live up to any of that? Kind of makes me feel like throwing in the towel right here and now. We're so human because, well, God made us that way, and we have a real talent for messing up.

So, where have I brought my little discussion here? Well, heck! I'm not sure! I guess it's just to think about studying my motivations for some of the things I do, the things I say. Am I able to minister to someone that I seriously don't like? Am I working toward becoming Christlike--that is, do I pay attention to the needs of others despite a busy life? Do the things I do feel good on a fleshly level, or do they feel RIGHT on a heavenly level?

Well, this turned out to be a bit negative. I really didn't mean for that to happen. So...I'm going back to the Big Guy and pray on this and see if I can pull some positives out of it. Feel free to knock me off the soapbox.....


son K drew me as an animae character......

Monday, March 06, 2006

Lunch encounters....

This is going to be rambly, so just bear with me.

Thoughtful Simon was concerned with the David Hasselhof fans, so I thought I'd oblige til I get another pic up. I mean, it's the next best thing to me, right? ;-)

Larry (see my links; I'm not bright enough to put a link in my posts yet) says:
Belief is said to be a simple matter of brain chemicals, but it's really the most powerful force we have for changing reality.
That is an awesome statement. I was talking with Patchouli the other day about health matters and we got on this discussion about the mind/body connection. I believe that Larry's statement goes to the very core of our reality. Our beliefs about ourselves, our state of mind can make or break us. How we think God sees us is so vital to our healthy spiritual walk in this realm.

Hebrews 11:1-3 is one of my favorite scriptures.
1Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. (esv)
It touches on our responsibility for beliefs and also on quantum physics .....bringing them both together in a mind-boggling 3 sentences....or maybe it's just me. No one knows who wrote Hebrews. Many authors have been suggested; Priscilla is one that scholars have suggested as the author because of the shrouding of anonymity. It's a beautiful book.
Which now makes me think of this blogging thing. My mind wanders, ok? Here we develop a community of people who may never see each other face to face, people from all over the world. We bare our souls...sometimes with information that we might not share with the people in our "real" lives. If it wasn't for the internet, and its "unseen" forces, we most likely would never have "met." I think that's just really amazing. Out of something unseen, we have created relationships. How much more is out there is mind boggling as well.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Taking my face out....

I'm tired of seeing my face pop up whenever I comment, so I'm taking it down for awhile...

Friday, March 03, 2006

Luncheon comments of the first kind....

Writing a lot today; a client webpage, and another brochure.

I turned down a big job yesterday (not something I do often)...but it was SO labor intensive and required at least 6 arms, maybe 7. I figured if I can't handle the Pilates...wellll....
It was "Wallpapering" four 6x9 foot full sheets of muslin that I would prime, cover with joint compound, dry, paint and dry, and then rollup and crack. If I want to wrestle stuff up over my head in a small space and sweat a lot while having junk fall on me, I'll go clean a closet or something. I also have to come up with a life size drawing of a fat little bichon frise and some birds to finish out a garden mural.

Okay, still struggling with the Pilates thing....I think my warrior personality wants to do something violent for exercise (aren't you glad you're not around?), so maybe back to the Tai Bo thing, iron level permitting. I'm feeling pretty darn strong. I think I'll get out my mini-trampoline and jog on that for a while. ADHD? Me? Nah!

Still contemplating the God stuff. There seems to be a thread going about how to handle differences in beliefs; for example...when a church has their "statement of beliefs" that's one thing....they sort of "weed out" the "riff-raff" who might otherwise try to change them.

It's a whole 'nuther picture when the "church" is without steeple, and the Body is here, right now, all over the place.


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Praise God...always

Thank you all for your prayers for Jordan, the 16 year old with Rasmussen's encephalitis. Jordan went through a grueling surgery; it was touch and go there for awhile...they thought he might lose his speech, and after surgery, he was still seizing. However, they hoped it was just post-op seizures. This young man has had non-stop seizures for a long was getting to the point of a seizure an hour. But praise God.....he has been seizure-free for 2 weeks! I love good news!

What really matters?

As we go further into our walk in Christianity, we start realizing the extent of our differences in beliefs; the number of denominations and differences between them; the different faiths that have sprung up in the name of Christianity--for example Mormonism, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.

It almost seems as if now, with the movement of some Christians out of the walls of a church and back into NT house churches, that the disparities in beliefs are growing swiftly. And, to an extent, they probably are. But if you look at the ability to communicate in the 21st century, you can see that perhaps it's not a growing number of differences, but our ability to see those differences on a global scale. If you delve into early Christian history, you'll see that there were just as many differences in the belief systems between orthodoxy and gnosticism...and many, many branches of each of those. The result is an endless variety of Christianity and it turns out that it's just a matter of history that we are where we are. For all we know, we could have all been card-carrying Gnostics, had history taken a different turn.

The difference that I really like to see is the one where most of you don't CARE that there are differences; you just want to walk with Jesus. But I probably see that because I have a tendency to link up with a supportive band of disciples, and run like the devil's after me from the legalists.
That said, we will still butt heads with those afore mentioned legalists every where we go. We could get legalistic with the legalists if we choose, because there are so many things that we as Christians do even now that could be considered man-made, pagan or occultism...birthday cakes, wedding rings, Easter eggs and bunnies, Christmas trees, Santa, the Pledge of Allegiance...the list is endless. Even the concepts of Lent and Ash Wednesday are man-made practices. All of these things exist either as accepted or are refused in some level of Christianity today.

Where do we stop with the head-spinning stuff? If I have Christian friends that believe that there is life on other planets (more Christians believe in this concept than atheists) or that the precise arrangement of the stars on your day of birth can be a clue to your personality (the Magi were astrologers) or that all good people are going to heaven whether they believe fully in Jesus; are these people pagan? Are they occultists? Are they "not as good Christians" as those who believe the contrary? There are biblical concepts that can be interpreted as "out of body experiences" or even psychic or astrological experiences. The variety that I've come across with different people is amazing. No two people will agree totally, I believe.

So, where does all the nonsense leave us? For me, it's just working at trying to see others through Jesus' eyes. He certainly didn't surround himself with what the society then would have considered to be the "cream of the crop." His day was built around interruptions from all walks of people.

The woman in Matthew, Mark, and Luke, the one with the issue of bleeding. She knew that she just needed to touch His garment. Jesus was walking in a crushing crowd, and yet He knew that she had touched Him. Even being out in public with such an issue for this woman was a dangerous and forbidden thing. Yet, she touches Him...and He knows that Power has gone from Him. Not depleting Him...just going out to someone who has a huge faith in Him. He tells her that her faith has rescued and preserved her: sozo means so much more than just healed.
Rescued and preserved.

We know nothing else of this woman, but we do know this: of all the things she may have done in the past, all the things she may have done later, that she had all the faith in the world that if she just FOLLOWED Him; touched Him; defying all the legalistic nonsense that surrounded her at that time; that all would be well; that she would be rescued and preserved. Nothing else mattered. What else could?