Saturday, September 29, 2007

God's will

I had a dream last night that both saddened and encouraged me.
I was in a huge school, (learning) and it took forever to get from one place to another (searching). We were in the cafeteria mostly (being Fed) and a young woman walked by. She was "unclean" (check your Bibles if you don't know what I mean) and other students were reviled by her for that reason and for other reasons--pointing fingers, saying mean things. I was half following her and thinking, "Why is she out here in this state of being, right now?!?" I couldn't muster up being disgusted by her, though, because she was dressed in white. White covered her, but there was still flesh showing. She stopped suddenly and turned around to me and looked at me with the most beautiful crystal-clear blue eyes. She had tears in her eyes. She said to me, "I'm not good enough for Him, am I?"
I stopped and stared at her. Why was she asking me?? A scripture verse went through my head, over and over again.
That was it. I woke up. My heart broke for her, for feeling that way.
But she was clothed in white, though, which is Christ's coverage.
I felt much better! Most dream interpts would say that each character is the dreamer, but I know that when I remember these kinds of dreams, they are spiritual in nature, and He is trying to tell me something.
Don't we pick and choose, and point fingers at others, either outwardly or inwardly? Don't we try to decide who is good enough for Him, what their actions are and if they are 'saved'?
These are the words from the verse that went through my mind in the dream:
". . our Saviour God, Who wills all man be saved and come into realization of truth" 1 Timothy 2:4 CLNT
When He wills something, it happens.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Pause and reflect....

I'm going to kick back with coffee and goodies....and just lurk on YOUR blogs for awhile. . .I've just finished a grammar refresher course (not that the benefits will show up HERE, mind you!), a website that I'm working with is taking both physical and spiritual tolls; I'm working lots at the schools and I have a big mural project coming up; I've got a bad cold or SOMETHING
(can we say NYQUIL?? :-D )and the number one reason is.... I spent 16 hours yesterday in the ER and hospital with my husband, who woke me up at 2:30 a.m. clutching his chest in pain. Bunches of tests and stress later, he's FINE, praise the Lord....we should all have stress EKGs that look like that!...he has some muscle inflammation from an injury (don't know how) that settled over the chest area mimicking MI.
Kiss your kids and hug your loved ones--pat the dog. We are often reminded of how lucky we are!

Lucky and tuckered out.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

a bit of good news....

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I had my doubts about this...until I remembered taking my oldest at 2 years old, to a friend's house. He picked up their t.v. controller and started using it...

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Devotional

Your Courts
Words and Photo by Connie Wisman

I woke up this morning with such yearning
in my heart to walk in the courts of the Lord.
I often feel like I am truly there as I see the
life-filled paths of flowers, creatures, and living
waters to which He has led me recently.
Be encouraged:

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the Lord.
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
Ps. 84:1-2

Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Ps. 84-4

Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere.
Ps. 84-10

Monday, September 17, 2007

bits and pieces...

Ironic that I'd post about a healing, then fall down in dis-ease yet again. . .

I have been emailing a blog friend; we've been discussing beliefs and he kindly said that I never seem down. Hmmm.....well, I suppose that's because I'm not sharing lately!

I've probably felt the worst that I've felt in a couple of years in the last couple of weeks. I've been dealing with asthma and really bad fibromyalgia- the worst that it's ever been. Every inch of me is in pain. Walking is difficult. So, I've been having a pity party inside myself, in between noticing how incredibly beautiful it is outside. There are so many sad things happening in the world, and yet the sun and the light is amazing. I had to wear sunglasses in the shade watering plants because even that light is hurting. I was in a panic yesterday trying to crawl out of my skin and get comfortable, some how, some way. I ended up with Tranquility music and meditation and got some rest. My tinnitus is at an all time high right now. I'm thinking this is all air-sinus-fall coming related. I hope.

I'll get over it. Just happy to be here.

Gracie is four today! She got a round of antibiotics for her birthday. Bladder infection (we hope that's all) and I always worry when she gets one because of her kidneys. Hasn't stopped her energy, tho'.

Husband is off to Mexico for the week; new job responsibilities as multi-site engineering manager. We'll be learning more of the language, I believe!

I'm trying to catch up on your blogs because it always cheers me up to read your thoughts.

Did I tell you the last three words that my friend Julia uttered before she passed away? She was always saying "yay!" when someone would do something her hubby doing the laundry. Or, she'd say, "fantastic!" or "wow!" She had a lot of energy, even when very sick. Well, her last three words were quiet but firm, first two as she was being serenaded: "Fantastic!" then "Wow!" then..... her last word:


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

In April, 2006 (Archives) I did a little series on some of the miracles in my life. Kansas Bob posted about one of the members of Sonic Flood who was healed of Crohn's Disease; I mentioned that I, too, had been blessed by a healing of this disease. Bob suggested I repost it. Here 'tis. It's one reason I believe the Lord works through non-believers.

April 11, 2006
These little stories may not seem like "miracles" to some folks....but they are all part of His plan for us....and I think and hope that they will touch off some sharing of YOUR miracles. Already a couple of you have shared experiences or let me know that you've had similar ones. Sometimes we're nervous about telling these things...people look at us funny when we talk of things not "seen." Hebrews 11:1-3 When I was 21, my family moved from the midwest to Texas. All except me. I stayed at the university for a semester, but realized that I missed them. Going to Texas for the holidays was a real hassle as well; and the school I was going to was not as art oriented as I decided I was. I was first interested in biomedical illustration, then I went toward art as a visual thing...for art's sake.I had not been feeling well for several weeks and went to the infirmary, which was a joke. The doctor there blew me off and told me I was just tired.

Eventually, I just decided to go to Texas permanently, my mom was unhappy there in new surroundings, and my dad traveled extensively. As soon as I got to Texas, I started getting really ill; long story short, I ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed, by specialists, with Crohn's disease, a harsh disease of the small intestines. I was bleeding internally and severely. At one point in the hospital, I heard voices outside my door; one person asking a nurse if I would live. I waited for the answer. She said she wasn't sure. I went from my normal (at that time) 150 pounds (I'm over 5'10") to 130 pounds in one week. I tried to "escape" the hospital but my clothes wouldn't fit. I hate hospitals. I did well, eventually, and got sent home with a regimen of severe meds, steroids, etc., and a special diet.The school I was going to in Texas had a weird art dept., and they dabbled in new age stuff; visualization, meditation, etc. I was struck by one art teacher's story about his cancer-riddled cousin who was sent home to die. She began visualizing healing over her body; organs fighting off the tumors, etc. She lived. That really touched me, and I think it was one way the Lord started showing me that what we see is not all that there is. That there is power out there, whether I knew it , or these people knew it, as HIS power at the time. SO, I started visualizing healing over my digestive system. (This sounds simple, but was extensive) Everytime I had the horrible spasms (they were beyond description) I would start meditating (actually, in retrospect, it was contemplative prayer) and visualizing relaxation of the spasms, healing of the wounds, etc. I eventually got off the anti-spasm medications, and then the rest. I never had another bout of trouble. If you know about Crohn's, you'll know what a difficult and recurring disease it is.Years later, I had to have some routine "middle-age" person exams; you know what I'm talkin' about ;-} and gave the GI doctor my history. When he gave me my report he looked at me funny and asked if I really had had a diagnosis of Crohn's. I said, yes, you can contact the GI guy, etc. In fact, the GI guy was one of the tops in the nation. He just shook his head and said there was absolutely NO indication that I had, or ever had, Crohn's disease. Didn't surprise me at all.

Now, I'm trying to apply these principles to current woes. Why did I get healed then, and not now? Of course, I'm not limping around, laying around; even when I don't feel well, I still get stuff done. So, in effect, I have a thorn in my side like Paul, and there may be a reason. I just know that, although I wasn't calling on Jesus at the time, I was healed. And didn't he say in Mark 11:24. "Whatever you pray and ask for, believe that you have taken hold of them, and they are yours?" (paraphrased)I have to ponder this. Some would say that this doesn't happen, that Jesus doesn't answer prayers like He speaks of in Mark. But we don't know the mind of God, so we can't fathom His plans, and I'm sure that illness and suffering is part of the big picture...especially for believers...but His rewards far outweigh the suffering (2 Thess). And how many times does this healing indeed happen? I believe it does for me, and does for you. Believe HIM. As bjk says He said, "love ME." I think it's that simple. I know that even though a lot of us are going through physical problems, that the love we have for Him, and the love He has for us makes it so much more bearable.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Feeling great losses....and some gains...

My mother-in-law, 2 friends, an uncle.
Luciano Pavarotti, my fav tenor.
Now, Madeleine L'Engle, my fav author of "A Wrinkle in Time" has passed. :-(
Someone just sent me a bunch of God letters: I thought this one was cute. I spent the afternoon with my grandbaby, Michael. I'm glad God makes new ones! :-)

Some good reading...

Brian has some things to say, as usual, much better than I.
I want to link a couple more of you, but I'm really bad at that hyperlink stuff! I'm working on it!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Ramblings before painting in a hot warehouse...

Thank you, Missy, for your encouraging call! :-)
Update: A woman from Curves called (3 hours later) to see if I was okay. Maybe they thought I'd sue 'em? She apologized. That was a nice gesture.

Luciano Pavarotti died.... :-(

Okay, should scented candles be burning in a work-out place?? I tried to go work out at Curves this morning after walking Gracie; was doing fine, then something just shut off my breathing; had a coughing fit, went into the bathroom to choke, cough, and gasp for breath (no one checked on me) and left, smelling this strong burning candle, which set me off again. The woman says, "I'm sorry, did that bother you?"
Um, yeah.

An uncle of mine passed away yesterday. He was always kind to my family, but before my grandma died (his MIL) she revealed that he was verbally abusive to my aunt (his wife) and to the family, as well as being a raging alcoholic. Aunt divorced him. What a waste. He was smart and hard-working but let his mother run his life; obviously he was angered over her control. Note to parents (and me, too)...stay out of our adult children's lives!! I feel bad for my cousins.

I've put all of my books away for a time. I'm taking a rest. It's impossible to discuss scripture with the English translations out today. They are so far removed, word-meaning-wise, from the literal translations. Yes, it's hard to decipher the sentences when they are not "filled-in" but I question some of the "filling in." It's frustrating, and I feel like man has put God into a leather-bound box.