Saturday, June 16, 2012

Shake ups

Just found out the teacher I work with..a young and outstanding lady, has been transferred to another school, so my future is a bit shaky at the school I love. Who knows who they'll pair me with. We'll see how it goes. I was sorely disappointed in the responses from our team members to her email about her move. They were mechanical and unfeeling. Most people don't "get" Kim...I do, and she is all about the kids. Highly organized at 26.....a little OCD, so when people enter her calm and tidy room....as opposed to other Special Ed rooms...it appears little is being done. That's simply not the truth. The girl can think on her feet, wing it, and create something amazing just to reach one child...to get to where she needs to be to reach him or her. We became good friends and it saddens me that people can't see the hard working Kimmie I see. Is it jealousy? Unopened hearts? I don't know.
I keep trying to study for my certification tests, but I'm just unmotivated. If I become a teacher, my time will be consumed with teaching chains instead of teaching freedoms, which I have now with what I do for the school, and for the kids with my critical thinking club. I won't have time for that...but I'm still in the need for furthering my financial freedom.
I think about how the disciples felt when Jesus left them to go after someone else. Kim keeps her eye on the one kid that's about to move beyond help, ignoring what others think...and Jesus goes after the one lost sheep.
I know there was jealousy and resentment of some degree. Maybe if we were all focused on the ones who need us, we wouldn't be concerned with what we think WE'RE missing.....

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Summer....into the heat of things...

Summer is here, thank goodness! What a year! I have to say I've been blessed immensely through a lot of stuff. I know many of you have suffered trials. I hope that you are experiencing some peace and comfort through them.
I've been pushing through things I don't want to happen to try to get to the things I want to happen. Things in the Spring are new and fresh...and promising....Summer comes...the heat gets turned up and the uncomfortable broiling begins....the test of how much you can take and how uncomfortable things have to get before you will try to change them.
I've always liked the heat. I think I can handle this frying pan--with His leading.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Spring

Spring break is just about over...I didn't get as much done as I had hoped. I did a LOT of walking...got up at my usual time...the dogs just won't let me sleep...and that's okay. Time for coffee and talking to Father.

I have so many friends that need prayer....Tommy, Diane, and Nanette need healing from cancer, Theresa needs a transplant, others need JOBS and provision, marriages need healing, parents need help.

Spent the day with Connie yesterday and it was one of the best days in a long while...lunch, singing worship songs, laughing....fellowship is good for the soul....I seem to forget that from time to time.

Enjoy this season....it's rebirth, resurrection, taking deep breaths and moving forward.....

Sunday, March 04, 2012

March already



The year is moving too fast, and I am moving too slow.

On the positive side, I'm getting fit-er and losing weight. I feel better physically and am not as tired during the day. The lupus flare seems to have lessened as well, although I have a lovely butterfly rash on my face that adds to the wonderful-ness of aging. Thank God for aloe and makeup.

I've spent more time in introspection than I have on the struggles of others...and I don't like that. Focusing on my own problems, faults, and other boring bits is not why I'm here.

The pain that others are going through is palpable. Friend Kathy has lost all of her original family, I think. Mom, sister, brother and dad all within an unreasonable time period. My heart aches for her.

Kansas Bob and his lovely wife Ann are struggling as well. I think about them daily as they walk this journey out.

Others are going through other painful trials. We all are. When we pull out of our own stuff, and concentrate on making someone else smile, everyone heals just a little bit.

Walked dogs at least 7 miles this weekend. Spring at the lake here has sprung. If anyone cannot believe in the resurrection, just point them to the dead looking brances and trees....they are a yearly reminder that our lives are in cycle all the time..and that rebirth is a fact of our lives here in this realm, as well as in the next.

Time to focus on rebirth.

Sunday, January 08, 2012

Mercy came running

Heard that song on the radio today while driving. Went to the petstore and to the art store. I picked up a few drawing items that I needed in order to put some thought to paper. I have ideas, and I really need to focus and take time to put them down, to do some things on paper that please me. He gave me a gift, I know I'm supposed to share it...and I do tenfold. I feel that it's time for me to take some time for my own art.

My houseguest asked to uncover the keyboard that has been covered up for months. I haven't touched it. He is very talented and he has inspired my son to play guitar. My son has talent and an ear for music, as well. Like me, he can pick anything up and make a good noise. God has blessed us. There are a line of us in my family that have the creative gift.

Anyway, after young man played, I felt the urge to do the same...and did. I felt much better about life in general.

As challenging as someone can be in your life (and he is a very kind and gentle challenge) it's moments like this that make you realize that God puts people in our path not just for their journey... but also for our own.




Once there was a holy place



Evidence of God's embrace



And I can almost see mercy's



Pressed against the veil



Looking down with longing eyes



Mercy must have realized



That once His blood was sacrificed



Freedom would prevail



And as the sky grew dark



And the earth began to shake



With justice no longer in the way



Mercy came running Like a prisoner set free Past all my failures to the point of my need When the sin that I carried Was all I could see And when I could not reach mercy Mercy came running to me



Once there was a broken heart



Way too human from the start



And all the years left it torn apart



Hopeless and afraid



Walls I never meant to build



Left this prisoner unfulfilled



Freedom called but even still



It seemed so far away



I was bound by the chains



From the wages of my sin



Just when I felt like giving in



Mercy came running Like a prisoner set free Past all my failures to the point of my need When the sin that I carried Was all I could see And when I could not reach mercy Mercy came running to me



Sometimes I still feel so far



So far from where I really should be



He gently calls to my heart



Just to remind me.

Phillips, Craig and Dean