Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Her name meant "friend"

Twenty years ago this month, I was an underwriting supervisor for an insurance company. She was a clerk in the office, one of those constantly cheerful people who said "hi" like she hadn't seen you in months....everytime she saw you...even if she passed by you several times a day. For some reason I found that charming. It drove everyone else nuts and they griped about her a lot, and weren't very nice to her. Added to that, she wasn't physically attractive, and was several pounds overweight. She did have gorgeous long brown hair, though. One day I was passing by at her desk and I felt the biggest pull to just stop, put my hand on her shoulder and say " are you today? You look very nice." She smiled the sweetest smile. The next day, she was gone. Twenty years ago this month, she had a flat tire on the freeway, and while waiting for help, was hit by a passing car and killed instantly. I think of her every January. I think that she is happy now, though, because I dreamt of her one night after thinking about how sad her short life had been. Her biggest thrill had been getting hot rollers for Christmas. In my dream, she was in a glowing white dress and her beautiful long hair was flowing all around. As if to say "Hi" she smiled her sweet smile at me as if she hadn't seen me in months. Her name was Ruth.


Christine said...

I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work, I will not cry at work, I will not....

The day of the layout for my husband's funeral, I took a nap on the couch, and had a dream where he was smiling at me in front of a wall of the biggest blooms I'd ever seen, a riot of soft color. His eyes were clear and happy, and he was telling me with them that he was really happy.

I had a few more brief interludes like that, so my grieving process was given a gentleness I wouldn't have dared hope for.

Karen said...

Christine,I believe these dreams are real. It's as though the Lord has allowed us a glimpse of heaven, somewhat like Paul's experience in 2 Corinthians.

One winter we all kept smelling the scent of flowers in our house. I called the furnace guy,kind of embarassed..and he quietly asked me if anyone had recently died in my family..I said yes, my mom. We instantly understood each other. It was a God-gift revelation.

Even so, I can't imagine what you've gone through in the loss of your husband.