Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Her name means "bound, tied"

And she certainly is....
I looked up the meaning of friends names mean things like noble, truth, constancy, purity.
Her's means "bound, tied, ensnarer." Once in a while it comes up "beautiful."
She is all of that.
I'm wondering what the Lord had in mind when He brought us all together for a season.
I'm wondering what I was supposed to learn from all the turmoil.
And, I'm still angry.
My husband said he believed that she has a sweet soul....somewhere in the layers of pain.
I couldn't get through those layers. I was too busy fending off blows. I'm not Jesus. I only have a couple of cheeks to turn.
Now, I am a very forgiving person. I'm not sure why, because my nature is as a warrior. If someone is beating you up, I'll put myself between you and the blows. But pity the one who strikes you.
Abba Father let me know I was on a rocky road with this one. I warned her at the beginning that people will always disappoint, but that He won't. Ever. But her pain blinds her to everything. She has it all figured out. She will always be hurt by others. And, so she is. She is the constant victim of everyone else.
Still, I try to figure out what I was supposed to learn from this one. Maybe it's that you can try to walk with someone on their rocky road...but they may just shove you off into a ditch. About all you can do is crawl out, dust off, lick your wounds and let them make their own way because the only one who can walk that road with them is Him.
I'm sorry, Rebecca, that we couldn't walk it with you. I hope that you will allow Him to walk with you. I hope and I pray that you break those bindings, those ties, because He is the only one who can help you.


Christine said...

Have you ever read Oscar Wilde's "De Profundis"? He goes from being the victim and taking self-pity to a high art form, to being transformed by the love of Christ. You can see it happen in the pages of the book, written while he was in prison.

Yeah, Jesus can change a victim mentality- but they've got to be willing.

Sorry to hear about your pain with this person....

Karen said...

Thanks, Christine! I'm ordering that book...sounds like a read I need!