Thursday, April 26, 2007

Psychos and fear....


I've been lurking on your blogs to avoid posting any negative posts here. Recovering from a nasty bit of bronchitis as well.

My new neighbor is scaring me. I'm unable at this time to love him as Jesus would have me love him. He raged, insulted, and bullied and frightened me into hacking my tree straight up his property line--up some 40+ feet. This all started because stupid me offered to take the lower branches over his property while having the rest of my trees trimmed. No good deed goes unpunished, as they say. Legally, I have to get permission to remove anything over his property because those branches were his property...and not my responsibility. We agreed on the lower ones, but when the time came he became wildly unreasonable. The tree trimmers were aghast, and said they'd never seen anything like this. They did an admirable job, didn't charge me for the extra work, and then fed my tree in front for free. They told me my trees were beautiful, healthy, and it pained them to hack the one back. The norm is to go 12-15 feet up.

He scares me. I know I'm supposed to fear nothing in Christ Jesus, but this happened during the VT tragedy...and when someone is screaming at you on the phone, it sort of takes the joy of life out of you....and you wonder what HE is capable of. Everyone is telling me to not give this guy "power" over me, but they didn't have to deal with him. I never resorted to insulting, yelling at him...I stayed calm (praying all the time for calm) and he tells me he's sick of my condescending attitude.


I realized that I now get anxious instead of happy when heading home. I don't want to go outside. I can't go out in the back now if it's a sunny day because there is no shade (lupus) and I have to avoid direct sunlight. All of my plants are shade plants back there. In the 22 years we've lived here, I've never encountered anyone like this. We've had some neighbors that have caused us many problems....dogs barking at our bedroom window, we've had to fix fences and AC units because of their stuff...but that's that, and we've always let it go.

If this is a test, I'm failing miserably.

24 comments:

Bruce said...

Wow, I hate to read that about your neighbor...home is suppose to be our safe harbor when the world around us is going to hell. Is he renting or buying? I'm guessing buying since he's the one that was being such a horse's ass about the tree. Not sure what to pray for except wisdom and peace to you.

You can always move down to Burleson. There are 2 houses for sale on our block and the neighbors are real nice. :-)

B~

karen said...

Thanks, B....prayers are the best! Please pray for the idiot next door, especially! ;-)

I'm going to the garden place today and get some mulch and flowers and play in the yard in front....there's still shade there...

bjk said...

Don't change who you are in fear of him......would love to be your neighbor.....

Helen said...

Oh Karen this is awful for you, I too would be very upset, it's so annoying when you try to be a good neighbour and do the right thing and people like this react in such a way,

It's easy for me to say try not to worry - I live in another country!!

I will pray for you - and him!

Best regards to you, I think you are doing very well with the patience thing - not sure I'd have been as nice!

Take care,

Helen x.

pearlie said...

Oh dear, I hope things have settled by now. My prayers are with you.

brian said...

That does sound scary. I feel for you. It sounds like you've done everything you can do.

Hopefully, you can manage to avoid this guy. Sounds like a total fruitcake.

Peace,
Brian

SocietyVs said...

I also hope that maybe some level of peace can be restored between you and your neighbor in the near future - wouldn't want these bitternesses to ruin a good living situation.

Keep in your mind ideas of peace and ignore the man if he has nothing but 'evil' to say - it might change someday.

Joe said...

It's horrible when you can not be comfortable in and around your own home. You can feel like a prisoner with no recourse except to hide or move.

I hope your neighbor comes to his senses regarding what should have been a non-issue.

Milly said...

I'd walk right up to him and ask if he's happy with the trimming in a nice voice. (I'd have the boys standing close)Or send someone else to ask. Someone large.

He might realize that you are trying to be a nice neighbor.

I understand some of having to hide from the sun I already have spots on my face and arms.

Praying.

Robert said...

some very tough stuff to manage karen my friend I hope the many prayers for you have helped ease your tension some I have to avoid the sun as well suceptible to sin cancer so im always a casper lol id love to be your neighbor as well

karen said...

Thanks, guys...wish we were all neighbors.
He told me all the neighbors complain about us.....he's lying of course...no one has met him yet!..and I have keys to everyone's house because I take care of their mail and pets when they're gone! Ha!
He is satisfied with the tree trimming, praise God. Nothing like paying for someone screaming at ya. Next, he wants to put an 8 foot privacy fence around his yard. Wish I could convince him to put it ALL THE WAY around his house! ;-)

codepoke said...

:-(

I don't know what to say. This is HARD. I know you don't say you're scared unless you're scared, that doesn't happen without a reasonable cause. May the Lord grant you wisdom to take appropriate action quickly. I would certainly talk openly and explicitly with the neighbors, and form a united front.

I would also read the book, "The Gift of Fear." It will give you the confidence to trust your God-given fears, and let them serve the purpose for which the Lord gave them to you.

chris said...

Karen, that is tough, but at least he's satisfied with the tree scalping. I had a neighbor like that once, but unfortunately our problems came to blows. I still see him at Thanksgiving and Christmas, though. He's my brother in law!!!

karen said...

thanks, cp...i'll check out the book...gotta be learning something from this...although that fear thing is fearsome.
chris...thanks for the laugh! i hope you and BIL get along now!

bruced said...

Maybe you should apologize to him.

Layla (aka Barbara) said...

Karen, i feel for ya. My next door neighbor watches out the window and over the fence just waiting for my son to do ANYTHING that he can call me about and say "do you know what your son is doing????" Ugh.

karen said...

Hmmmmm, Bruced, interesting comment.

Kansas Bob said...

A lot of people are frustrated by people who react in a calm way to their acts of intimidation and anger. In their frustration and anger they will spin your calmness by calling you names like condescending or sanctimonious. I wouldn't recommend trying to apologize or anything like that - they could see it as a victory and just hold it against you.

I suggest that you get your husband involved if he isn't already - let him handle all interactions with the neighbor. I think that it would be wise for you both to continue to pray for wisdom concerning the situation. Give the situation to the Lord and trust Him to bring your neighbor to a place of repentance ... could eventually be an open door ... never know.

karen said...

Barbara....ew...you have a "Mrs. Kravitz" spying on your son?
:-( Great.

Thanks,Bob....We've been praying on this....and also for our neighbor (always a challenge and weirdly, a priviledge to pray for someone you're not fond of!)for whatever is going on with him.

Anonymous said...

That's what it's all about... "having victory".

karen said...

Thanks, anonymous.....actually, it's about GOD "having the victory." He always does...I'm just not a good vessel to provide it right now!

karen said...

...and anonymous....any reason you don't want to reveal yourself?

Missy said...

Oh, Karen! I am so sorry - I hope your weekend has improved. I tend to be a quick and vicious defender of those I become fond of (I think that's how we met!) - so it may not be as difficult for me as it is for you to pray for him, but it will be tough. It'll certainly be easy to pray for you, though!

And apparently, God thinks you're the perfect vessel!

Don R said...

You are in my thoughts on this one. There is no telling what he's dealing with inside to be the way he is on the outside. Sometimes we don't understand why things like this happen. But I know growth for us is involved with every trying situation we encounter. Blessings to you.