Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Keeping on....

I had posted about a problem a day or so ago..one of those things you post, then you delete.
Codepoke saw it, and thanks, brother, for checking in on me. He had, in the past, a similar incident to what I had a few days ago. He was very encouraging.

I basically had a stroke in my left eye...my DO was kind enough to tell me it was a stroke, just happened to be in my eye. Thanks, Dr. Bob. 'Preciate that. I don't have cholesterol, BP, heart, etc., problems. I think they call it retinal vascular occlusion. Many reasons it can happen, including just a fluke. Had to make an emergency visit to opthamologist who seemed giddy with excitement that something had actually happened, then on to a retinal specialist who seemed pleased that it was resolving. It can all be related to lupus, anemia, low BP....or not. A little bloodwork to wait on. Going back in a week to one, then a month to another.

The major issue is the fear that this crap always presents to me. I go on roller coaster rides with my health ...up, down, upside down. And it always boils down to fear about checkin' out of this life. Not afraid to meet my maker....just really like to be with my family. I get past one obstacle only to be met with another. Well, duh...guess that's life. Praise God I've had Connie, Mike, blogbrother CP, and others. I've been raised from the fretting to just letting Him do whatever. As I sat in the specialist's office, I was ashamed because it was jam packed with tons of people...one young man came in with what looked like a wad of ground beef where his right eye should be. Another man was diabetic and had a brace of some sort on his leg. Another woman has been diabetic since childhood and they were trading horror stories of blacking out at the wheel, or overdosing on insulin. I just started praying in the spirit for them all.....I don't know God's plan, but I did know that praying would really piss off the enemy. And I think I'm all about that right now. Doing whatever big Daddy wants me to do should accomplish that.

9 comments:

Milly said...

Wow. You have a bit of my prayer time. I'm sorry for you hardship I know that lupus is hard a friend of mine had it. Never feel bad for wanting to feel better. Keep holding on girl!

milet said...

Having LUPUS is hard. Yet, you can make it easier through your prayers and faith.

I know, because I am a LUPIE.

anytime you need to talk just message me.

ym : mil3tt3
email : mil3tt3@yahoo.com

me as a LUPIE, mom, wife : www.romelette.wordpress.com

brian said...

I'm glad you put the post back up. I saw the headline in my newsreader and by the time I hit your site, you had deleted the post.

I'll be praying for you. It sounds like a scary time. Of course you want to be healthy and be here with your family. I think it's healthy to be able to admit that. I feel the same way.

Peace,
Brian

bjk said...

I was kind of hit that I needed to be IN PRAYER today....I will be praying for you....thanks for the privilege

Bruce said...

At least the doctors seem to be getting a handle on this. Praying for you.

B~

Don R said...

We often become torn between this world and the other. I really believe they are not that far apart. Comfort to you and peace.

trace said...

yikes. hope you are feeling better. will pray for you.

Missy said...

You were already in my prayers! As an artist, this must be very difficult for you - but then you amaze me with your love and concern for those suffering around you. You have a heart of fire-purified gold!

pearlie said...

Hope you are feeling better. Will be praying for you.

Not afraid to meet my maker....just really like to be with my family.
I can identify with this one ... I feel the same :) Glad that you have many people you care with you, they make all the difference.