Thursday, November 13, 2008

Rough days. . .

Warning: Whining alert! ;-)

The last couple of weeks have been rough. I came down with some kind of virus a week ago Sunday. Chills, fever, extensive muscle pain. I wasn't sure if it was some horrid lupus flare or what. Went to the doctor Tuesday after and got a script for antibiotic "just in case" and ended up taking it. It helped. . . now on probiotics to fix the after effects of antibiotic.

The Wednesday morning after election night we get a call around 2:30 am ---those calls that just about stop your heart. . .it was a life alert company for my brother. He had fallen when going to the bathroom, somehow hit his head against a dining room chair and cut it so severely that he couldn't stop the bleeding. He and I have gone back and forth about him wearing his life alert necklace to bed. He was afraid he'd set it off in his sleep (not gonna happen) so he wasn't wearing it. (What does some stupid sister know?) Therefore, as he was bleeding nearly to death, he had to crawl over to the button station in his living room and hit it to alert the company.

Had he lost consciousness (and given the amount of blood he lost, it's a miracle he didn't) he would have bled to death. I would estimate, from the 'crime' scene, he lost at least 2 pints of blood. . .rapidly. He severed a vein and they had a dickens of a time stopping it in the hospital. We spent a very long 5 hours in ER; me running a fever and looking like hell, and my brother sleeping peacefully as fluids were being pumped into him. So, I finally started to comfortably doze off in his little room as we waited for CT results, my head in my hand, and he yells, "WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?"

So, once again, we battled him to get a script for home health care, and to pay for a private pay "sitter" to stay with him for the time he needed to be watched. They wanted someone with him for 24 hours, expecting me to do so (He was to be awakened every 2 hours all day and night). Hubby nixed that, and the wrestle began. He didn't want to pay someone to stay with him overnight...but I drew a boundary line and he relented. Some of my family think I'm pretty selfish for having boundaries, I think.

I worked at home for the next few days trying to play catch-up and managed to snag a cool mural job. That didn't take very long, and was fun....I was given carte-blanche to "just do it." I loved that.

I subbed today at the school where the student who is emotionally disturbed goes. I had emailed his teacher a few times last week to see if I could come and visit with him at lunch. No responses. Apparently, he was doing okay after a week at a psychiatric hospital after medication adjustments. I showed up for work today expecting to be able to give him a big birthday hug--but he was taken back to the hospital and no one told me. The prognosis isn't good for long term and he may end up in a state hospital indefinitely. He's becoming violent to himself and others.
This hit me hard. The last time he ended up in the hospital was on a day that I had been gone for a week because they had a potential hire for the job I kept subbing for. I showed up that day to fill in and he was...not him....if you know what I mean. Different.
It breaks my heart. I came home and just cried. He hasn't had a chance. His parents are horrible. His only chance has been his grandmother. . .and she has given up.
Would you pray for him? I can't say his name, but God will know who you're praying for. Thanks.

('s funny and ironic that I can have such compassion for a near stranger, yet set boundaries and get frustrated with my brother. Jesus said there'd be days like that. . . .)


... Paige said...

It is as it is done. All in God's hands and your child will be fine, if not the way we can see, he will be fine with God.
Your family and brother, well let me be bold and say you don't need to enable anyone. They will do that on their own.
You should try yoga. I'm thinking about doing that. I hear it's good for general overall body and mental health.

Love you my sister (hugs / pat on the back) Everything will be all right.

karen said...

Good words, paige. You're right of course. Thanks for that and for hugs!
I need yoga, indeed. Or, maybe Tai Bo again, so I can kick at something!

Robert said...

ah pam you are so preciously compassionate and real!!! I darsay that we all find the compolexity of dealing with relatives and needing boundaries

I am so sorry you got that wicked flu i had a case of it a few years ago and honestly thought i might die it was that yucky I hope you find an exercise you can kick with let our that aggression lol and ty for sharing with us the boy from your school a very heartbreaking situation but hopefully he will find help in a very unexpected way :)

Helen said...

Oh Karen you poor thing! all a bit much really, but will pray for you.

Hey what's happened to 'fitness' blog - it's gone! hope Gary is ok.
Take care, H x.

Missy said...

I'm really glad that I'll get to hug you soon. :)

Boundaries do not equal unloving or uncompassionate. We'd all do well to learn that lesson. God has given us many - and it gives me a sense of security and being loved unconditionally.

I'll be praying for your boy.

Abby said...

*pats* I hate the flu. It always has to come, too, at the most inconvenient times. Sigh.

And I so feel you on the sibling thing (as I'm sure you know!). Sometimes, they can be the hardest ones to care for in the world. I think setting boundaries is's not helping Kurt to give him free reign to, you know, whatever. It's just allowing him to be dependent on you without bothering to grow more into himself.

*hugs* Love you and miss you!

Kansas Bob said...

When I read about you having boundaries I remembered how someone once told me that often the most gracious thing we can do is to say no.. not that it is easy. Exerting tough love is very difficult.. especially when it involves someone that you love so much.. but it is nonetheless love.

All that said I have to say how much I admire your love for your brother and this young boy Karen. You are a blessing.

karen said...

Thanks, Robert and Helen. Helen, the FFF blog disappeared. I have no idea.
Thanks, Missy...looking forward to seeing you!

Abby, I know you know! Thanks.
KB, not so sure I qualify on the 'love' and blessing thing on my bro. He is understandably angry. His balance is off, his eyes won't focus, and even putting a key in the lock is a major event. Don't blame him, but he still irritates me!! :-(

Milly said...

Taking care of family can really make life hard. My sis had to spend more time with my dad she hit the wall when someone broke into her home because she had been gone for a while. You have to draw lines and stick to them. Praying for all of you

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Wow, you have a lot going on! I hope that your brother takes your advise this time.

My heart breaks for this poor boy that obviously needs some love and felt if from you :( Its tragic. I will pray.

Mark D said...

Any updates on your brother or the student?

karen said...

Brother is doing well, thanks. He is working out (carefully), wears his alert necklace ALL the time now. Trying to keep him as independent as possible, without killing either of us.
The student is maintaining. His life is very hard. Pray for him, please.
Thanks, Mark.