love and body wars. . .

Okay. If you're lookin' for laughs today, you might not find them. I'm not sure I should proceed with this post, but I'm thinking that someone out there might benefit from it. I'm reading Bernie Siegel's "Love, Medicine, and Miracles." I've come a long way in my general attitude about life in general, according to what he writes, but the exercise I did this morning tells me I have lots to do.

Now, years ago, I unknowingly employed some of what he talks about in prayer, meditation, and visualization and was spontaneously healed of Crohn's disease. Of course, since then, I developed other stuff. . .and have tried to "think myself well" again ever since.

Anyway, one section of his book asks the reader to draw a couple of pictures, one of them with their disease and with treatment curing it. Another is supposed to be just a picture of anything. 'Sposed to use crayons. This exercise kind of scared me to start. I advise any of you out there who are ill to try it. What transpired really hit me, and was quite cathartic.

The first picture is of me. I started out with "bites" by bugs causing pain, just about everywhere. I added red to those spots which were mostly all over my body. I added the drugs that they throw at me that I think are blocked by me (zig zag barrier) and even supplement treatments that often don't seem to help. I replaced the treatment with hearts, purple for the love of God that can help me heal. . .and yet I found myself coloring over that, subconsciously, with the red again! So, I went over it with purple--again. Quite the battle, eh?

Then I drew the other picture (Horizontal. The first is supposed to be vertical) I draw this picture all the time. It's of a lone tree, full and growing, but still alone. I always draw a setting sun, or a rising sun. Never one full up in the sky. There are shadows cast behind the tree, but at least there are flowers all around. The tree is set apart from the other trees that are grouped together that are soaking up the sunlight. There's that purple color again, in the tree in the form of a bird. There is a melancholy feel about this; yet the colors are alive and vibrant. ( I notice a resemblence between this picture and the Windy Day painting by Alfred Sisley that I had never seen before this was drawn!)

There you have it...me in living color. You might be able to see things in here that I don't, but they revealed much to me; and must admit I'm feeling very vulnerable showing you. But I still think that this exercise might help someone out there.
Try it.