Friday, May 18, 2007

Fear


I'm working on this ceiling dome. It has me terrified, actually, and I am not enjoying the process. I hate heights, I've done ceilings before, yet this one is very scary. I don't know why except that I'm older, fatter, and the curve of the thing is disorienting, or whatever.....
I keep praying for the fear to be replaced by just a healthy respect for the height, but to no avail. I'm pressing on....


Update: I went to work today, got some more of the finish done, and finished the background design you see. Had to rework the "iron" design on paper that I've yet to put up there. I sucked it up and went up there and was even more of a wienie! HA! Help me, Jesus!! This is the LAST ceiling I do!
Another Update: OK....I am baring my soul to all of you. What a chicken woman I am! I've reworked my "iron" design and I'm ready to roll...but I found every excuse in the book to NOT go to work today, which means, tomorrow, I'll have to go to work. I'm painting a mural at another place, too. Do you all ever get "stuck" like this and have a major case of the "don't wannas?"

10 comments:

NoVA Dad said...

Just think "Sistine Chapel" and you'll do just fine:-) If Heston can do it, so can you!!

Joe said...

You constantly amaze me!

karen said...

Matt...I know why Michelangelo was so cranky now!
thanks, Joe....I amaze you with my terror?!? ;-)

Missy said...

Praying for some fearlessness for ya! How long does something like that take? (Not the fearlessness, the painting {c:)

Carolanne said...

I don't like heights either - esp not standing on that thing?!!
But I'm impressed that you CAN do it. :)

Kansas Bob said...

I found this quote about fear from The Hidden Power of the Heart by Sara Paddison:

"If you are dealing with fears and insecurities from old head programs, have compassion for yourself. Just love your insecurities, fears and resentments. Release and forgive them as they come up. Judging, beating or repressing insecurities just gives them power. Then you have a pattern that never gets resolved. Recognize that your real security is built from your relationship with your own heart."

I posted a few more quotes at my place.

Milly said...

*-*

Joe said...

The scope of your Work amazes me!

Being high above the ground doesn't bother me. The thought of falling bothers me. Is that the same thing? I could stand with my toes and nose against the glass wall of the World Trade Center observation deck and look straight down and it didn't bother me. I've worked and walked on 12-inch wide steel beams more than 200 feet above the ground (after a couple of days of adjusting). But if I think about falling or watch somebody on TV or in a movie stand on the edge of a building and contemplate jumping THEN I get scared as if I am standing on the edge about to fall.

pearlie said...

That is amazing. You will be the first person I know who paint ceilings :) I am not into height either and I can imagine how difficult it would be in that position for a prolonged period of time.

bjk said...

I'll be praying for you ......I'm with Joe you DO amaze me!!