I have a lot of blogs to catch up with! :-O

Thank you all

My vision is pretty much back to normal...I'm just kind of spacey. That's probably normal, too. ;-)
How do I thank you all for your kind words and prayers? Can't say enough as to how it bolstered my spirit! Please promise me that you'll let me be there for you when you need someone. Friend Connie says that no one gets a "free pass"....we all go through so much. She called me the other day and I was at the lowest point, trying to just see normally...I couldn't speak. Missy hit the nail on the head on one fear...as an artist this scared me! I find it difficult to cry, but finally all the fear flowed out in our conversation. I felt better. I must learn to cry more! Last night, I started losing vision again...an aura started up...my fourth migraine this month....and I took the Midrin at the onset, and refused to freak out, it hacked me off so bad. I had JUST done some quiet prayer, music, and meditation to unwind! The doctors say these headaches have nothing to do with the eye stroke. I can't believe that. I googled it (don't have my M.D. license yet LOL) and there have been cases of "complicated" migraine. Praise the Lord though....in almost every case of that or lupus or anemia related RVO...it didn't return, and the chances of a major stroke are no different than most folks.
I keep getting put to the fear test...and I fail miserably each time.

This is nothing compared to the kids and teachers I see when I do the special needs aide jobs. Every teacher has some ailment...stress related I'm sure. They all have migraines. At the school I'm working at now, they offered me a full time aide position. I'm not sure that would be good for my health or my finances. They don't pay those folks enough....and I'm about to start 4 big mural jobs. But I was honored that they offered and trusted me.

Then there are the kids. One cute little gal with a leg problem from chemo...several with severe autism, cerebral palsy, violent behavior, emotional behavior problems, etc. I know some of you have worked with this. It's heartbreaking, but the heart of these teachers is so evident....it really is God at work through people...and no matter what public schools mandate....HE is alive and well in the schools...people praying for each other, professing their faith, both teachers and kids.

It's a great thing to see.

Keeping on....

I had posted about a problem a day or so ago..one of those things you post, then you delete.
Codepoke saw it, and thanks, brother, for checking in on me. He had, in the past, a similar incident to what I had a few days ago. He was very encouraging.

I basically had a stroke in my left eye...my DO was kind enough to tell me it was a stroke, just happened to be in my eye. Thanks, Dr. Bob. 'Preciate that. I don't have cholesterol, BP, heart, etc., problems. I think they call it retinal vascular occlusion. Many reasons it can happen, including just a fluke. Had to make an emergency visit to opthamologist who seemed giddy with excitement that something had actually happened, then on to a retinal specialist who seemed pleased that it was resolving. It can all be related to lupus, anemia, low BP....or not. A little bloodwork to wait on. Going back in a week to one, then a month to another.

The major issue is the fear that this crap always presents to me. I go on roller coaster rides with my health ...up, down, upside down. And it always boils down to fear about checkin' out of this life. Not afraid to meet my maker....just really like to be with my family. I get past one obstacle only to be met with another. Well, duh...guess that's life. Praise God I've had Connie, Mike, blogbrother CP, and others. I've been raised from the fretting to just letting Him do whatever. As I sat in the specialist's office, I was ashamed because it was jam packed with tons of people...one young man came in with what looked like a wad of ground beef where his right eye should be. Another man was diabetic and had a brace of some sort on his leg. Another woman has been diabetic since childhood and they were trading horror stories of blacking out at the wheel, or overdosing on insulin. I just started praying in the spirit for them all.....I don't know God's plan, but I did know that praying would really piss off the enemy. And I think I'm all about that right now. Doing whatever big Daddy wants me to do should accomplish that.

Prose II

Click on this to view better. I wrote this a year and a half ago....the Lord gave it to me; He wanted me to understand the very important and equal relationship between man and woman; in HIS image; that we all work together for good--for Him.

Prose I

I wrote this a couple of years ago.....no real reason to post it now except to thank our brothers out there who know God's Truth about men and women battling together shoulder to shoulder; not each other.

Enemy Within

The battle rages, the Enemy is strong and seemingly tireless.
We, His warriors, are weary in fleshly strength.
His power and our unity are our only hope.

Shoulder to shoulder we stand, an army
assembled for His word and His works.
Swords are flashing, while arrows slice through
the prayers spoken in silence, yet heard.

I am struck, a force upon my chest. With weapon still in
my right hand, I clutch my breast with the left.
The arrow has pierced deeply, and warm life flows
between my fingers.

Stumbling, sword still held high, I fall—
a soldier down.
I pray, and a single tear slides down my cheek as I
watch other sisters fall.

He is there, His loving presence catching us, comforting us
as our energy fades. He is dismayed, but
it’s not our failure that disappoints.
Eye to eye we meet our assassins. A sob
wells up in my throat, choking me….
silencing me.

The injury is painful, with mortal effect, but not as
deadly as the truth.
Who could have thought the wounds that
keep us from the Battle, from His mission,
from His work—
would be dealt by our own brothers?



Copyright 2005 Karen